Today was a good day.
I had some really good “talk it out” time with God on my drive to school this morning, and as I had asked, He went before me to prepare for my day at school.
The facts that my patience didn’t waiver throughout the day and that I didn’t leave school feeling discouraged and exhausted, were evidence enough that He was there, He was listening earlier this morning.
I felt at peace. I felt rested. I felt motivated. I felt productive.
It was shaping up to be a really good Monday. So good, that on my way home I wondered…is the rug gonna get pulled out from under me before the day is done?
Is this peace and feeling of accomplishment going to fall by the wayside later on?
I hoped not, but like I said…the day was just going so well…too well.
I don’t know why that little bit of pessimism found me today, but it did.
And even though I did my best to push it aside and keep on having a really good first day of the week…
as of now, at 7:39pm…my peace has waivered, my heart is feeling kinda heavy, and my two frenemies worry and fear have shown up uninvited.
Earlier today I laughed with my students, put up a word-wall, left school feeling organized, accomplished and not overwhelmed, crossed some things off my to-do list (ahem, recycling and grocery), and came home excited and ready to knock out another one of my “when you have time” classroom projects with mindless TV on in the background. Not a care in the world.
All of the little things one might need to feel like he or she is having a successful day.
Then, slowly but surely, the rug started to shift…
-I remembered about the typhoon. (Big thing)
-Someone posted about the newly released deadly-dangers of Gardasil. (Big thing)
-My Facebook friend/self-proclaimed climate change expert posted their daily doom and gloom report about how we should expect to see more deadly weather like the typhoon in the near future. (Big thing)
And the more I scrolled through FB or what have you, the more there was just share after share of this injustice, that political failure, this reason why things are so much worse now than before, that thing that we’ve all been eating/doing/drinking that is now deemed cancerous/dangerous/deadly, this president that is horrible, that president that was better…
And suddenly, my little art project that I had in front of me just wasn’t enough to stand up to those bigger things fighting to darken my day.
Neither was my new word-wall that I was so excited about.
Or the good day I had with my students.
The little things that had made my day happy and beautiful were no match to the bigger things.
They were in a game of tug-of-war over the rug underneath me, and the bigger things won.
And the only thing I could think to do to help get myself back on track was to come here, where y’all meet me so we can be real together.
So hello all, this is me…being real on a Monday night. Trying to harness whats left in the day and end it on a high note.
The big things have a way of pulling that rug out from under us. For me, they do it by inducing fear, anxiousness, worry, and a heavy heart for things out of my control.
And we can let them win the tug-of-war (as I usually do/totally did today), or we can show them pictures of the little things that are making us smile today and hope that those little things are like David to Goliath…
i.e. Totally underestimated warriors.
Yea? Sound good?
Some of my little things–
Take that Goliath.
What are your big things? What are your little things? Did you have a good Monday?
**I am fully aware that everything you just read was essentially word vomit.**