Like what I did there? (Anna Wallace demands credit)
There are few things in this world that I find more disdainful than doing the dishes. Most of you already know this, but for those of you just tuning in…
…there are no other inanimate objects IN THIS WORLD that mock me more than a sink full of dirty dishes does. Not the clothes hangers, not even the recycling.
I know, I know…that is quite a serious proclamation to make. But I’m comfortable with it.
Exhibits A & B – (to be read in some evilish high-pitched accent)
“Oh you want to have cookies…YOU CAN’T, we’ve buried the cookie stone at the bottom of this madness…when you’re ready come and get it na na na na.” (yea the dishes listen to Selena Gomez on repeat…)
“Go ahead, wash this pan just to use it immediately and put it right back on top of this pile…we find this HILARIOUS!”
So how? How you ask…do I combat this terrible awful. How do I combat the disdainful? (Maybe you’re not asking…but hey, I’m sharing and you’re reading soooooo…)
Well usually I just turn off the kitchen light, eat take-out for the next 3 days, and only enter the kitchen under DIRE circumstances. (i.e. to save the Half Baked from the freezer. you know.)
Buuuuuutttttt…..when it gets to the point where I’ve read my newsfeed and my feedly in its entirety, liked some photos on instagram, sent a snapchat with the caption “I can’t get off the couch,” AND convinced myself that napping at 7pm is probably not best for my night-owl tendencies, I enter something one might like to call resolve.
I resolve myself to the fact that I will feel a bajillion (real number folks) times better once I clean them and the fact that it never actually takes that long. Although the jury is still out on that last one…
I let the resolve settle in. Make myself stand up (by far the HARDEST part), actually say out loud to myself “this is happening,” and I turn up my spotify just about as loud as it can go. (its gotta reach the kitchen AND overpower the running water you see.)
The next step is crucial…it involves a little Taylor Swift/Robin Thicke/Bruno Mars action and includes dancing and scrubbing at the same time. (it can be done folks)
I like to dance as if I’m in one of those movie scenes where the awkward main character is totally rocking out only to be caught in the act by their crush.
Anyone remember Amy’s mop scene from Honey I Shrunk the Kids?
It gets that real people.
In other words, I like to get down to the point that if Danny walked in the door he would have a very nice laugh.
Before you know it, you’ll be able to see the bottom of your sink again and it might even be harder to stop dancing to Bruno Mar’s Treasure on repeat so that you can sit down and write this blog post than it was for you to get off the couch.
So how do you combat the disdainful? Does it involve any “dance like no one is watching” action? Please share!
And happy short work week! Woop, Woop…tomorrow is already Wednesday!