You Can’t Always Get What You Want

This is the story of a 22-yr-old who kinda has a melt down, and the Rolling Stones song that not so subtly reminded her of the truth she didn’t want to hear. And yes, the 22-yr-old is me.

Remember a couple of “Find the Beauty’s” ago when I had TWO world-stopping moments for the week to report? (click here for a refresher)

…And for those of you who needed the refresher but didn’t “click here” –

World-stopping moment #1 was Cain saying “let sis have the rest” in reference to the cheese sauce at El Cerro…

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And world-stopping moment #2 was that me and Danny BOTH had that Saturday off! This had been a long time coming, and I was so excited we were going to get to spend the ENTIRE day together. The possibilities were endless, although beach all day followed by dinner and a movie were pretty much the plan.

My only explanation for what happened next is that one person’s week just isn’t meant for more than one world-stopping moment. Hindsight: I should have eaten a little more cheese sauce.

When Danny got called into work at 10am that morning, it was “just for a few hours,” “just to get them through lunch.” I busied myself, applying for jobs and setting up a lunch date with Savannah to keep my disappointment at bay. I had 3pm in mind…still time for a few hours at the beach, still technically “day.”

But when day turned into evening and at 6pm all I had was a text saying “this sucks, I don’t know how much longer,” I semi-lost it…

…And by semi-lost it, I mean cue meltdown. Disappointment grabbed hands with frustration and they skipped off together to have a field day.

Tired of busying myself and trying to avoid coming across angry in the cover letter I was writing, I decided to take a walk. That’s what they tell the angry football players to do in the movies isn’t it? Rest assured I didn’t punch through a table or anything, although that probably would have qualified as world-stopping moment #3. (And we already know the limit on those)

I just started walking, pretty much power walking, angry power walking. I walked so hard and so far that my already broken-in rainbows reverted back to rubbing blisters on my feet.

I walked (zig-zagged) through the literally thousands of tourists in town for Memorial Day weekend and didn’t stop until I got to the water. (I’m definitely not proud of how dramatic this sounds…even less proud that it is true.)

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I got to the water and felt myself relax little by little. What is it about the water, the coast even that is so relaxing? I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever move inland.

And I saw dolphins, because Lord knows I needed to see some dolphins.

Somewhere along the way, my selfish emotions started to recede just enough to let some more logical thoughts in. I was still frustrated and disappointed, don’t get too ahead of yourself, but felt it was time to put away the drama. End meltdown.

I wish I could tell you that “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” randomly started playing out loud in the world or something, but it was really more of a thought I had during the meltdown.

Followed by, “hey isn’t that a Beatles song?” As you’ve see, I’ve since corrected myself.

For those of you that have made it this far, this story does have a happy ending. (I don’t know when I became so long-winded)

Danny did finally get off around 7 and we were able to do our dinner and a movie. It took me a little while but I did finally shake off the ‘ugh’ emotions and overall, we had a good night.

And the point of all this, albeit a little obvious is that you can’t (and don’t) always get what you want. But…and here it comes…have you been waiting on this? “You get what you need.”

I wanted a whole day with Danny, I still do. And I didn’t get what I wanted. But I did get what I needed.

I needed to be reminded of my own humanness of my imperfections (√ thanks to the meltdown) and I needed to be reminded of how much Danny makes me want to be my best self. Once we were together, the hand-holding couple, disappointment and frustration were fighting hard to stay put and I was well on the way to letting them ruin the whole night.

And while I’m still very much mastering the art of salvaging, we did it. We salvaged. We loved. We laughed. And I was reminded how much I love my best friend. And that I love him for making me want to be my best self, and for loving me even when I’m not.

I got what I needed. And that was more than enough.

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xoxo,

Mel

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One thought on “You Can’t Always Get What You Want

  1. Pingback: When I Write a Cover Letter | mel and la vida bella

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